More on the Win-Win Technique | Styles of Negotiating ( Part 2 ) | The Formal Event 

Good day Readers, We had a situation in our Last Part. In this Part we will see what we will do in this kind of situation .

So Let’s continue

“Listen, I know your family, and you all like and trust each other. So you are already halfway home. Have you tried having a collaborative Win-Win session with the whole family, where you first get agreement on the general problem?“

“Not Really“, admitted Janet. “Why don’t you try it after you leave here?” I Suggested. 

“Huddle with each other and your kids and ask for their help in solving the family’s problem. Don’t discuss individual alternatives or means at the beginning but keep the focus on the end result. In other words, ‘ How can we satisfy everyone?‘ “

Gary cocked an eyebrow. “What do you say, Janet? Want to give it a try? You’re much more tactful than I am. You should be chairman of the family discussion.“

Janet Shrugged. “All right. I’m game.“

A month and a half later, Gary phoned me at my office and blurted “Herb! It Worked!“
“What worked?” I asked.

“The collaborative solution to our vacation!“

“Good,” I grunted. “Where did you go?“

“To the Manor Vail Lodge in Colorado,” Gary said. “We did exactly as you suggested. Everyone got together, and we all shared our feelings and desires. Then we got travel folders and looked for a solution that would satisfy all our needs. From this discussion we came up with Vail, Colorado.“
“Why Vail?” I asked.

“Because it met all our needs. You were right about Texas, Canada, and all that. They’re great places, apparently, but this place seemed to really fill the bill for all of us. On Paper, that is. And when we got there, it did.

Tennis courts for Janet, Golf course for me, really big mountains for the Little Guy, Plenty of swimming and fishing for my high school kid (he even went white-water rafting), no air conditioning, because there’s no humidity during the day and it’s cool at night, ample peace and quite for my studious daughter, no need to drive our car, because there were shuttle buses — and, though we dined out every night, I didn’t have to dress for dinner! How about that?”

“Great“, I said. “You also apparently enjoyed your prevacation brainstorming session!“

“You Bet,” said Gary. “It brought all of us closer together. When are you coming to Ames again?“

“The very next time I get the Itch for Action,” I said, grinning.

“You’re okay, Herb — you certainly know the mechanics of fixing things,” he said.

“Not really, Gary. As you know, I’m mechanically inept. Even when I try hard to put my foot in my mouth I sometimes miss. However, the way you solved your problem was okay.“

That Phone call made my day, because I like to see people who are in continuing relationships collaborate to resolve conflict creatively.

in the Gary, Janet, and family situation, everyone emerged victorious. The “Where shall we go?” negotiation wasn’t approached as an adversary encounter. Concern was exhibited for each person’s feelings and needs.

Individual needs were harmonized and reconciled. All acted in a collaborative mode, rather than a competitive mode.

The five gladiators were transformed into problem solvers. Because the brainstorming session emphasized ends, not means, a fair and equitable solution was arrived at — a solution that delighted everyone.

I wasn’t at the brainstorming session, but I’ll bet my bottom dollar that the formal event was kicked off with a positive approach that got immediate agreement on all sides.

Ordinarily, where continuing relationships exist, there’s adequate lead time available before a negotiation event — lead time in which you can build Trust.

However, life being what it is, there are instances in which you cannot or do not anticipate a negotiating event that suddenly looms before you. 

Instead of anticipating the event and preparing for it, the way you’d like to, you’re dumped into it, head over heels.

In such a circumstance, can you establish the confidence and faith required to produce a Win-Win outcome?

The Answer is Yes, if you size up the situation correctly. Even without a process stage, you can use the event itself to probe for Information and establish a relationship that will yield a favorable outcome for both sides. Let me share with you what happened to me not too long ago.

After some discussion during my absence, my family decided that our lifestyle was inadequate unless graced with the presence of a videotape recorder — to be exact, an RCA VHS Selecta-Vision, plus a 21 inch Sony TV set with a remote control.

When I arrived home late one Friday night, I was summarily informed that I’d been selected, based upon qualifications, to buy these items the following morning. Mine is a democratic family, so no matter how I protested, the scales were tipped four to one against me.

Actually, I was protesting not the request itself, but only the timing. I planned to use a videotape recorder in a new business venture and had been thinking for some time of gauging its effectiveness.

Nevertheless, after spending an entire week in an exasperating negotiation overseas, I didn’t relish the thought of facing off with a department store clerk or a local shop owner.

But I did. After all, one must maintain one’s status in one’s family. The biggest problem I had was time. All the local stores open at 9:00 A.M.

Since I was taking my youngest to a college football game at 11:00 A.M., I didn’t have much of an interval in which to gather information, use time effectively, and exercise power.

Fortunately, I knew my needs. They were to acquire the product at a reasonable price and to have it delivered and installed in good working order.

The latter need is especially important for me, since I am the person who once spent 3.5 hours putting together a 3 piece bird feeder.

While driving into town, I said to myself, “Herb, you don’t want to get a great deal; just don’t end up in the Guinness Book of Records for Buying the most expensive standard videotape recorder. So play it cool.“

Acting as though I had all the time in the world — so cool as to be virtually catatonic — I casually entered the establishment at 9:20 A.M. “Hi,” I said to the Proprietor.

“Hello there“, he replied. “Can I help you?“

“Well, I don’t know,” I responded. “I’m just looking around“.

Since I was the only customer in the store and seemed to have a lot of  time I started up a friendly conversation. I asked, in an offhand manner, how the new shopping center in the neighborhood was affecting his business.

“Well,” he couched, “ There’s been a slump due to it, because it just opened. But I think business will come back — you know how things are. People want to see what the center’s all about, you know? But they’ll soon get tired of it, don’t you think?“

I nodded in Agreement.

He continued, “ Eventually, I believe, old customers will return.“

While looking at a clock radios and TV sets, and expressing some interest in videotape recorders, I continued to ask questions and build a relationship.

I Told him where I lived and how Important I thought the local merchants were to the community.
Wiping his mouth with the back of one hand, he murmured, “I wish more residents of this town felt that way.“

As I listened with empathy, he started to talk about his problems. “I don’t know why people in this town always have to use those Plastic charge cards. You’d think the government doesn’t print enough money. It costs me whenever they charge.“

While continuing our amicable discourse I ran my fingers over a videotape recorder. “Hmmm …” I interjected. 

“How does this thing work? I’m all thumbs, you know. I don’t even know the difference between AC and DC.“

Well, Readers let’s take a break we will continue this in our Next Part.
“ Formal Event ( Part 3 ) “
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